Triple Bottom Line
Why not you?
WELCOME TO YEAR TWO OF chaos theory! True to my nature as someone with Leo all over his star chart, I resorted to histrionics and jungle fuss when, at the publication of last month’s installment, I told everyone this newsletter would not make a return thereafter. And true to my nature as someone with a Libra moon, I switched up on everyone involved and said, Phuck it! Let’s do it again. Indeed, again we’ll do it! I hope you get something (value, insight, personal information to weaponize against me down the line) out of this month’s edition.
In any case, thank you for sticking around, I’ll try to make this quick.
Last night while taking a piss at a sticky gay bar in Los Feliz to send off what’s been the busiest and most fruitful Pride month of my life, a song I really liked came on, and I started singing along to it as liquids exited my body. The guy who was using the urinal next to mine started singing it, too. And so did the guy next to him. Before you know it we were simultaneously giving an impromptu performance in front of our respective urinals, lined up in a file like some sort of production.
Then the third guy looks at me and the second guy, saying: “Do y’all know each other?” We said no we didn’t, we were all just matching each other’s freaks, so to say. And then we laughed. And then the third guy said, “I know who you are.” I said, “Me?” “Yeah.” “Okay, what’s my name?” “Andrei.” I was shook. [By now you should know that my real name isn’t James, but Andrei.] “How do you know me?” I forgot what he said after that, but I do remember giving him my number because why not.
The past few weeks of my life has seen a lot of why not’s. (I mean, hello, you’re reading this right now because I thought of continuing this newsletter and said why not.) Virtually all of my decisions are informed by such sentiment just the same. 360 branding and creative direction for LA Pride, why not? 50-spread zine for a modish but modest beer company, why not? Copy and anything creative for a to-be-launched new innovation in film cameras, why not? I don’t say no to a lot of opportunities or ideas that find their way onto my lap because why not?
A lot of us tend to do the opposite. In danger of coming across holier than thou—and I pray to heavens I don’t, because I’d rather chew and swallow styrofoam than to be event remotely branded as a pious prick—there is the very unfortunate aptness in all of us to shy away from what we know we want to do out of fear of being perceived as stupid, silly, or anywhere between those ends of the spectrum. Living inside of our brains, coming up with new ideas, but doing nothing to turn them into something. And while it’s true that some ideas are meant to stay as ideas, it’s also true that we all owe it to ourselves to try.
I harbor a very real fear that madly gifted creative people out there exist, but don’t have the confidence in themselves to put pencil on paper, paint on canvas, or vector on artboard. Do you worry about that sometimes? That people’s potentials not just don’t but can’t manifest because the people don’t believe in themselves enough to try? I mourn it. (Creative people are amongst the necessary populations to save a society in disrepair. [In this essay I will…])
I was like that. For a lot of my formative years I didn’t let myself be creative because I didn’t think it would even be a possibility to make it my career let alone make a comfortable living out of it. But then something happened, or maybe a lot of things happened, both internal and external, that rejiggered the codings of my brain, and I started looking at creativity not only as something I needed to make a career out of, but also something I could enjoy.
And why would I deprive myself of doing something I would enjoy?
The triple bottom line, dear reader, is this: To be creative, you have to be confident. To be confident, you have to comfortable. You can’t fully commit to something if you don’t feel comfortable doing it in the first place. Always, always, always give yourself the space and patience to be creative, but also never let yourself wallow and wither in the in-between, and know yourself well enough that it’s your turn.
Me personally, I think it’s your turn every day. Because why not.
🚏 THINGS I THINK WE AS A SOCIETY SHOULD TAKE A BREAK FROM MAKING MORE OF
Podcasts: I don’t think this requires elaboration. If you think you should make a podcast, no, you don’t.
New iPhones: Apart from the ecological and economical grounds for this case, I also simply think the iPhone is getting boring, and I feel like it’s because Apple’s got themselves stuck in a cycle of their own design of having to update the iPhone every year. If they dropped a new iPhone every 5-7 years instead of every year, hype would be higher. Though Apple doesn’t necessarily have a hype scarcity problem, so it seems my point is moot. At any rate, I hate getting new iPhones and the person who invented the notion of routinely upgrading gadgets should be imprisoned for life for heinous crimes against humanity.
Videos: Dub me a man of conventional morals, but not everything has to be a video! I miss still images. I miss not everything being an “immersive experience.” I miss going on Spotify and being able to see, study, and admire a song’s cover art, and not have to watch a poorly loaded 3-second loop of the song’s music video. (Art is getting traded out for algorithmic customs and no one cares!)
📶 AND CONVERSELY, THINGS I PROPOSE WE AS A SOCIETY PRODUCE MORE OF
Candidates for presidential election: This election’s lineup is bleak! I remember when elections were fun. We need to bring back fun elections, like Obama v. Romney. (On another note, where are the hot candidates? This is the real problem at hand, because how come Canada has Trudeau, Spain has Sánchez, and Mexico had Peña Nieto?)
Tote bags that don’t fall off your shoulder: Someone please innovate a tote bag strap that’s got gorilla grip.
Bedding that costs less than my rent: Why does good quality have to be expensive? Shouldn’t everything be good quality anyway? Don’t pay attention to me – I’m just pissed because no one’s gifted me a set from Tekla yet.
🎰 JAMES JUNK JUKEBOX*
Jump, Tyla, Gunna, Skillibeng – Why was Water her namemaker when this intensely beautiful banger exists? Questions that need answers. But I won’t complain—the more songs I have in my Rolodex to get me out of a weird, sedentary mood, the better.
Cowboys Cry Too, Kelsea Ballerini feat. Noah Kahan – Seeing a pattern of this nuevo wave country music that’s almost anti-trad country in terms of themes and kernels but has the same flair of amour and pride in it, and I’m getting life from it. See also Chris Houseman’s music, namedly Guilty As Sin and Bible Belt.
Chachachá, Jósean Log – I love this song! It feels like a hug from someone who cares about you. Intimate but chaste. Cloud-like in texture, but real.
Chase It (Mmm Da Da Da), Bebe Rexha – Bebe Rexha, where the hell have you been, loca? I forgot she existed beyond her transcontinental, genre-bending classic Meant to Be with FGL and honestly, welcome back.
Mood Ring, Lorde – I’m tanner than typical these days, and this song headlines my lay-under-the-sun playlist. At the risk of being too on the nose, it’s perfect for every mood. Lorde, I know you’re reading this: please would you bless with new music?
*Now you can listen with ease! I’ve compiled these into a mixtape on Spotify. I’ll add as we go. 🔗 Here.
🧾 A RECENT NOTE ON MY NOTES APP WITH NO CONTEXT
Sometimes I recoil from the thought of having to choose between being an intellectual and being a visionary
I just want to be a giver
Dated June 16, 2024 at 23:24
👔 LIFE UPDATE IN 300 WORDS OR LESS
It’s finally hot again, and it feels like life is on full tilt for me, my friends, everyone. The energy outside is so good and it fills me with rapture! Here are few goodies from June.
Beginning with:
Sharing the work Josh and I created for LA Pride! If you’re sick of hearing about this project, no you’re not. This was a titan of a project and it was wildly gratifying to see it all in come to life. It aged both of us ten years but it was worth it. More on Instagram, but you knew that.
Some new running shoes! I’ve been eyeing these laceless Norda’s for months now and I finally said yes to myself (why not?). Alas, I rolled my ankle the first time I ran up my daily trail with them on, but that’s on me! Should have known to run on the road on first wear.
This dessert I had at Cathedrale in Las Vegas last weekend that was almond cake shaped like a realistic lemon with some citrus gel inside, sitting on top of really yummy yuzu granita. It was orgasmic.
This waterfall my friend McKayla and I hiked an hour and a half on an early morning for to see. This photo’s not enough to do it justice, but believe me when I say it was a pictorial scene. There was a pond! A pond! And you have to rope yourself down to get to the waterfall! Ah.
The more time I spend on this earth, the bigger a realization it becomes to me that outdoors time is one of life’s most important gifts. It’s like, actually, I don’t feel homicidal or suicidal—I just needed to reconnect with nature.
What will July bring? I can hardly wait to find out.
🫗 CHAOS FUEL
🧹 Fonts
Puntino by Arne Freytag, Typerabelle by Clemence Fontaine, Bagatelle by Patrick Griffin
🛝 Internet Things
Dua Lipa performing Illusion at Glastonbury 2024 – Just some required viewing material.
41 West branding by Smith & Diction – Ugh. That dynamic W goes dummy.
Gaza Relief and Recovery Fund – Consider taking action by donating money that goes directly to those needing urgent humanitarian care.
🌐 IN YOUR ORBIT
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